This morning after walking my son half-way to school I did some shopping and decided to treat myself. Just because. Just because I never give myself enough credit for the huge challenges I face. Just because it’s been a tough two weeks and it’s been a roller coaster of emotions. Just because I deserve to…
As my son grows older and more independent, I’m struck by the painful realisation that the world out there isn’t always kind. In fact, it is very often not. A lesson I don’t want him to learn, yet he has to and he will. I find so much kindness here, on this blog, from people…
I need to keep reminding myself that the place, this very place and point in time, is where I was always meant to be. It’s not an accident. My son has just started high school and it’s been an incredibly emotional journey for us both. He holds all his feelings in and then, in the…
A sad feeling creeping up from my stomach; the seat of so many emotions. A palpable yet elusive sense that something is amiss and off-centre. And when I look more closely it’s made up of a cocktail of anxiety, sadness, fear maybe a bit of disappointment splashed in. All the uncertainties around my work situation,…
Have just returned from a trip to Athens where I was steeped in history and have been reflecting on the importance of the past in relation to the present and the future. What better time to do so than the moment you are standing with both feet firmly in a brand new year full of…
This hasn’t been an easy year by any stretch of the imagination. As I lay curled up in bed with the flu, I am finally listening to my body. My body is saying, ‘Stop, no more!’ and I am finally listening. If you told me of a woman who teaches 6 hours a day in…
I remember how my first counsellor tried to gently show me how so much of my life had been dedicated to pushing myself really hard to be perfect. To work hard, get the best grades, grab all the opportunities that came along, push to be better and better. She implied that I was pushing so…
Imagine your inner child waking up to a message that your soul has ached for. My mother usually sends me a weekly text message. This is the extent of her mothering and our relationship. I haven’t seen her in years nor spoken to her on the phone. Today, along with her perfunctory message which always…
Am at home this week for the start of the school holidays and I feel like I have returned home to myself. It’s been a crazy few weeks with huge challenges both at work and home and at times it felt like there was no respite. But today, the quiet outside and inside , like…
I am most beautiful in the most hurt places. I took the day off today because I needed to. Have been feeling so much anguish recently. If only we lived in a world where it’d be ok to phone in and say to your boss, ‘I can’t come in this morning because I have terrible…
Feeling heartbroken today. I’ve always loved cats and we finally moved into a place where it is possible to have one. We got the most beautiful kitten who has such a gentle temperament, and is loving and affectionate. Unfortunately my partner has severe allergies and couldn’t be in the same room with him for long.…
Went for my six monthly hospital visit today to have my pessary changed for my prolapsed uterus. It is invasive and triggering for me. I leave feeling low. It takes me to deep and dark places, bringing up all the powerlessness, helplessness, anger, pain, sadness, and badness that I’ve suffered. Today even more so because…
A very good friend reminded me today of what I needed to do. Just sit and be with myself and listen quietly. And the answers will come she said. And I did and they did. All the rushing about, the pushing, the straining, the achieving, be better, work harder, be a better teacher and be…
No inspiring quotes today. Nagging discomfort… less than myself. I am in a dark place where I shut myself off to protect me. Distant from the people I once felt close to. Yelling so much at my son, the mornings are the worst, the rush the stress. We are always on time yet some mornings…
Not sure what’s going on at the moment, but life feels like a huge struggle right now. I haven’t been well, have had what feels like a head cold for weeks. I wake up feeling tired and small tasks like walking up the stairs leave me breathless. A constant headache shadows my days and nights.…
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