Anger is GOOD!

It's ok to be angry!

It’s ok to be angry!

Growing up I was never allowed to express my anger. It was too’ un-lady like’ and just not appropriate! I swallowed the words I should have said, squeezing them tightly between my legs. Instead, I sometimes banged kitchen cupboards, pots and pans when I was asked to help out and the rest of the time I gritted my teeth.

My husband was the only one to catch a glimpse of the ferocious rage I had buried within me. He often told me how nobody else saw that side of me because I was always so agreeable with family and friends.

In my therapy yesterday, for the first time, I voiced anger for my father who sexually abused me. He is in fact the person that all my rage should have been directed at a very long time ago! Not the cupboards, pots, pans and to some extent not my husband. Expressing that anger was liberating! I went into the session holding a lot of fear and anxiety and the anger dissolved it so that I left feeling fine.

Anger is GOOD!

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11 thoughts on “Anger is GOOD!

    • It was nothing dramatic, I didn’t break or throw inanything. I just talked about how hypocritical he is and the anger came up leaving me almost breathless. I felt the anger! have never done before! I have always felt sorry for him and felt bad for him so it was a revolutionary moment for me!

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  1. Our pieces of anger sound oh similar last week therapist provoked alot of past anger in me..
    I’m sorry to that your dad did this ..my pieces slowly emerging I think my dad that meant the world to me i do anything for ..I think he did the same and it’s tearing me apart!
    Sending lov take care

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    • I am so sorry that you can relate to the abuse I suffered as a little girl. It is so difficult to come to terms with the fact that a father would do that. I denied it for so long because the alternative would be to admit that my father violated me in the worst way. As children its not something we can admit to let alone process and we swallow the secret and believe we are bad! I know this may sound strange but in some ways we have to fall apart to build ourselves up again and live authentically. I send you love, warmth and hope for your journey ahead!

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  2. Glad you are able to embrace your anger. I call mine murderous rage. It is so deep in my being. Rage at the injustices and abuse in my life. I too release it with my therapist and in my journal. Sometimes my husband and I have a disagreement and it hooks my murderous rage. Then I have to go off by myself and let it flow out of me because the anger is not appropriate to our disagreement. I find my greatest humanity in my anger and murderous rage.

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    • That rage you describe has to be expressed because it is pure and justified! It is the shame that is the silent killer, leaving us survivors leaving a half-life. I am so angry with my father for the first time. What he did was no better (if not much much worse) than a paedophile! If I had read about a man abusing a five year old girl I would have condemned it in no uncertain terms, so why should it be any different because he is my biological father!

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