Feelings aren’t facts!

identify feelings

A very simple statement that provides so much relief for me

Feeings aren’t facts

This is a very profound truth that I have only recently been made aware of. Feelings are changeable and temporary. Feelings pass. In any one day we could feel sad, angry, excited and elated. Our feelings for people change; sometimes from love to hate.

The significant truth is that these feelings that we feel don’t define us and they don’t say anything about us as people. Just because someone is angry doesn’t make them a generally ill-tempered person and in the same way, being sad doesn’t mean that you are someone who is unable to find joy in life. This is because these feelings happen during moments in time and the essence of our very life is impermanence.

The problem arises when you allow these feelings to define you and give them too much power. Why would I want to do this when the feelings I have now will be different in an hour or two?

This is not to say that feelings are unimportant. Of course they provide us with important clues about gauging how comfortable we are with a situation, they can protect and guide us in all sorts of significant ways. However, they can also be a product of unprocessed trauma and can have nothing to do with the present reality and finally they can be a cocktail of our conscience and internalised societal values.

Feelings should be listened to! But from a distance, as an equanimous observer instead of allowing them to consume, overwhelm and define who we are! I am much more than my feelings !

I listen to my feelings, give them the space, acknowledgement and respect they deserve, but I try not to allow them to become me.


7 thoughts on “Feelings aren’t facts!

  1. My feelings sometimes become me, overwhelm me and exhaust me! When I get in such a painful twist, as odd or horrible as my feelings may seem to me, I have to express them, get them out there. Then another more objective soul can help settle me down. I try to manage on my own, but I just have to have help sometimes!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi there. Yes, I have those days too when I am overwhelmed and having an empathic other who can calm you down is exactly what we need. I think that as survivors, there is a profound sense of loneliness as we have had to do so many things ALONE. All the survival work can leave a person feeling that they have nobody! At least for me that’s how feel and that’s why now for the first time ever, I am allowing myself to lean on people.


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