Although I had a childhood that no child should have to suffer and many things were taken away from me. I still feel blessed to be where I am. I am very appreciative to all of my fellow survivors of childhood abuse here on WordPress who have helped me throughout my journey back to me.…
Today is a pretty bad day in my estimation. Everything seems to be going wrong. At work, things are messy, with miscommunication at every turn. But more than that I am feeling terrible after receiving an email from my brother. On Friday last week, the brother who I have confided in about the abuse contacted…
I am feeling a lot better today. I feel lighter somehow. Obstacles that seemed heavy and insurmountable before have been conquered. It was always going to be difficult to confront my mother about the abuse. I never believed I would have the courage to do it. Now that I have, I have shed some darkness and…
How does one let go of their parents? It was hard enough for me to let go of my husband. Yes I have a hard time letting go of bad things. I cling onto people who hurt me. Its the little girl in me who wants to be loved at any cost. I ignore all…
As some of you are aware, I finally wrote to my mother to ask about the abuse. I wanted to hear her side of the story. Well she replied saying that she didn’t know that my father had sexually abused me when I was five. She insists that she didn’t know and said that how…
I sent a message to my mother yesterday which a year ago would have been unthinkable for me. I asked her about the abuse. I have distanced myself from her since I began counselling just over a year ago. She has kept in touch by sending me messages every week. I have not seen her…
I spent the day yesterday feeling very low. I was supposed to go out with a friend to the cinema but I cancelled because I didn’t feel up to it. I am on day 26 of my monthly cycle and I feel very ill every month at this time. Last month it was back pain…
This morning I attended my son’s class assembly at school and I sat next to a mum who tried to fill my ears with her worth. She made sure to inform me about her family’s many life achievements. I will summarize the gist of her one-way conversation. Her husband is a doctor, they are wealthy,…
The quilt I use to warm myself is multi-colored; a patchwork of fabrics dark and light. It is a tapestry of facets, layers and textures. It is soft and smooth in some places and in others it is rough and tattered. It is greater than the sum of all its parts and no single patch…
In so many ways I have been a five year old girl living in a woman’s body. All the coping mechanisms used to survive were for the little ME who was abused. But I have carried them around until now. They don’t serve me anymore. Childhood abuse stunts developmental growth and I am now allowing…
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