The winds of change have blown through my life recently upsetting the work-life balance that I had carefully constructed. Work for the last three years has been my one constant; The one thing that I could depend on to be stable and secure and the same. It has been my personal life that has been the major source of upheaval; with the divorce and the childhood abuse that I am facing for the first time in my life.
However, these last two weeks have upset that delicate balance as our management decided at the eleventh hour to move all staff and students from our college to a new campus. The new site has many issue; it is not well-maintained and is badly in need of renovations. The management here is also quite dismissive of teachers and seems to undermine teachers at every opportunity.
I used to have my own office and now share an open plan office with five other teachers so that is a huge change. The moods and energies of others have a significant impact on me and I find myself feeling unsettled and uneasy whereas before I felt very comfortable in a familiar place. My life has been full of new people and places so change is not unusual for me, but I feel slightly disconnected from myself. I guess that’s because I am being drawn out of myself to deal with all the external changes. I feel like I am neglecting ME, the inner me that needs soothing and loving and care.
I have to make the time to be quiet and with myself and re-connect. It’s good practice I guess, pushing me to grow and heal further and be ok with lots of outside noise. I would like to be serene inside so that none of the hustle and bustle affects me deeply. I know I can find that space within to rest.