There is a little girl in me who hurts and hurts.
She is very sensitive and fragile.
Looking outward hoping for praise, attention and love
Scanning faces for indifference and disapproval
Feeling bad for her thoughts, words and actions
Clinging and grasping onto the smallest gestures of warmth
They are never enough
People always disappoint
Her wound is wide, open, gaping
of maternal protection
of fatherly love without lust and desire
I am learning to look inward to soothe her and restrain her from getting into bad relationships and from feeling that everything is her fault. I am showing her how innocent she is and how she did nothing wrong. That she is loveable and worthy. I take her in my arms, rock her to sleep the way my grandmother used to do. I tell her that I hear her, I see her and that she is not alone. That I know she hurts but that we will be ok. That we shouldn’t let things on the outside affect us so deeply; that everyone is self-absorbed. That what we think about ourselves is what counts the most!