My little me hurts and hurts

inner child

There is a little girl in me who hurts and hurts.

She is very sensitive and fragile.

Looking outward hoping for praise, attention and love

Scanning faces for indifference and disapproval

Feeling bad for her thoughts, words and actions

Clinging and grasping onto the smallest gestures of warmth

They are never enough

People always disappoint

Her wound is wide, open, gaping

An absence

of maternal protection

of fatherly love without lust and desire

I am learning to look inward to soothe her and restrain her from getting into bad relationships and from feeling that everything is her fault. I am showing her how innocent she is and how she did nothing wrong. That she is loveable and worthy. I take her in my arms, rock her to sleep the way my grandmother used to do. I tell her that I hear her, I see her and that she is not alone. That I know she hurts but that we will be ok. That we shouldn’t let things on the outside affect us so deeply; that everyone is self-absorbed. That what we think about ourselves is what counts the most! 

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9 thoughts on “My little me hurts and hurts

  1. That is where I needed it the most; self-acceptance. Not from any other, but from me. And you succinctly described the internal change over the last few years, where that raw longing loneliness was replaced by the seeds of self love. I’ve been looking for it all my life!
    A very beautiful, meaningful post. The magic key!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your words are an inspiration to me. Like you my little girl hurts and hurts. Slowly I and learning to love and take care of myself and her. Your words resonate in my soul so much that I cry. Than you.

    Like

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