I am no less than you

new confidence

The last few days have been good. I feel more fully present in the place that I am and things at work have settled. On Monday and Tuesday all our staff attended professional development sessions in another city and I noticed how much more confident I feel around the other staff members from different campuses.

It used to be that I would want to hide at these events and I felt uncomfortable the whole time, imagining people were looking at me and judging me. But in this last one, for the first time, I felt that I was part of the group, a teacher like all of them. In fact a very experienced teacher with nothing to be shy or ashamed of!

I have been with the company for five years and I am a good teacher so why did I feel that I was less before? Well it’s because I was carrying around a heavy secret that coloured everything. Telling that secret has liberated me. I felt free and it didn’t matter to me who liked me or didn’t and I didn’t even think about what other people were thinking about me.

I was just being me! I spoke when I needed to and didn’t feel the need to fill gaps in conversations or raise my hands to answer questions. I am ok as I am no less than you, or you or you!

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2 thoughts on “I am no less than you

  1. This makes my heart smile! I find that I’m also okay during events and social things now, but after they’re over I have a harder time. I feel vulnerable and second guess. I think knowing that this happens is the biggest help for me. I can see it and not spiral from it. Or tailspin. I can just be uncomfortable by it… Most of the time anyway. It’s work though. Always work! XO

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes I know what you mean. I also take time to recover from things. It’s like I’m all wound up after expending so much energy and then I have to unwind and relax again after! I know that vulnerability and openness you refer to. Maybe it’s because we open ourselves up and then feel unsafe after and we half-expect something bad to happen. Thanks for your insight and sharing as always

      Liked by 1 person

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