You deserve to take up space

amy cuddy

You deserve to be big and take up space in the room. You don’t have to stay small and hidden. The body influences the mind just as much as the mind impacts on the body. Changing your body language can change not only the way others perceive you but also the way you feel about yourself. You learnt to hide and feel shame for bad things that were done to you but you are not bad. Maybe those life experiences taught you that you are not good enough. You are enough and you deserve to be big and make noise.

Your posture is important it can determine your mood and energy levels. I have lived my life being small and hidden and my posture is testament to that. I have photographs of myself at five with my legs squeezed tightly together. As a teenager, I walked around with hunched shoulders because I was ashamed of my burgeoning breasts. Even now as an adult I hold my chin up at my desk and when I sit, I try to take up the least room possible and take comfort from being at the edge of a couch or seat.

My counsellor has been pointing out the effects of body language and I wanted to share this powerful Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy with you.  She says you can ‘fake it until you become it.”

Here is the link:


2 thoughts on “You deserve to take up space

  1. Funny you should say that. I just replied to a comment on my site ( with this:
    “Anxiety and fear. Yes. Fighting the tide of my childhood training; don’t speak up, don’t be angry, be nice, be ashamed, take care of others, not yourself, be quiet, be little, meek and mild—anxiety and fear explains it very well, how hard it is to grow into a person who can stand up and care for herself.”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for this! It pains me to see my children carry themselves this way too as they absorb and mirror so much of the ones raising them. I’m constantly reminding my youngest and son to sit up right etc whilst slowly and descretely correcting my own. So as to practice what i preach

    Liked by 1 person

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