When we have been abused as children we learn to detach from ourselves; our feelings and our bodies. The healing process involves the long journey back to ourselves. We have to reclaim who we are, and work incredibly hard to find all the pieces, gather them together and see where they fit. Like a gigantic puzzle.
As I do this important work, I am finding that I have a constant companion. A helper who is always at hand. Someone I can rely on completely; who will never let me down. Someone who knows me more intimately than anyone else. Someone who embraces all of me; both my strengths and weaknesses. A best friend. A perfect non-judgemental confidante!
I work hard to stay with her and find her in those moments when I want to berate or criticise myself. Moments when the world is less than kind.I fight to be with her when the darkness pulls me back to the past. I look for her when I am being hard on myself and expect perfection in my healing. She is always by my side.
The answers have been with me all along. I have always had her but never saw or listened to her when she spoke to me. Her voice is becoming louder and stronger.
She is me. I am her. We have each other.