Do you ever have the feeling that you can’t breathe enough air?
That your insides are so contracted and the air flow is constricted.
That if you don’t concentrate hard enough on your inward breaths, you might die.
I feel like that today. The tears come easy today. Physically I don’t feel well too, I have a headache, my back hurts and I feel very nauseous, tired and wounded deep inside.
Is it a new deeper level of pain that I have touched or am I going back to hurt places I have felt before.
It’s hard to make sense of the big feelings today and the soothing self-talk is not working as well as it usually does.
I don’t feel like doing anything other than crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head.
I will just sit with it for as long as it wants to stay and I have my counselling session later this afternoon so I can talk about it then. Right now I have classes to teach, colleagues to sit with and my son to look after.