Open Wounds

it will heal

They’re unsightly. They ooze and weep pus and blood. Nobody wants to see them. Yet, they need to be made open and brought into the light to dry and scab and eventually fall off.

I have been nursing an abscess on my eyelid that started off as a small hard lump inside my eyelid. The doctor called it a chalazion. Well, my chalazion became infected and looked like a huge pimple on my eye. It was unsightly (more so to me than anyone else) and it is the kind of thing that would usually make me feel even more self-conscious and by default I want to hide in these circumstances.

But my open wound got me thinking about other ugly, unsightly things that people don’t want to look at. Take childhood sexual abuse, it’s a taboo subject and not the kind of subject you would bring up at a polite dinner party without a stunned and uncomfortable silence ensuing.

This made me kinder to my open wound, my body was trying to heal itself as the abscess changed shape and form. The oozing was necessary! All of those germs had to come out for it to heal, just like my childhood wounds that lay buried for decades.

All the dark and ugly stuff that was done to me left their mark and these need to ooze out slowly. It’s unsightly and hard to face but I have to, we all have to so that we can be fully healed.

The wound on my eye is smaller today and already starting to dry. Soon it will be hardly visible! I will see it and I will know where it came from but it won’t be an issue because I am not the wound. I am so so much more! I don’t need to walk around with it like a badge of shame and so the hell what if people see it’s ugliness. It’s not me who is unsightly and ugly it is the things that were done to me that were!

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