When I went to my favourite frozen yoghurt place this week, I experienced an epiphanic moment!
It’s a place I have been to countless times before. In fact I discovered the place with my ex-husband and I would go with him and order the same mango yoghurt everytime; mainly because it was HIS favourite and I went along with it. Yes I went with the flow, as I often do, and the mango became ‘my favourite’ too.
Even though we are divorced and my ex-husband (that word tastes good in my mouth) is long gone, I have stuck with the mango. Sometimes I have pushed the boat out a little and gone for other safe, fruity options like maybe a mango or watermelon smoothie.
This week I went for a chocolate hazelnut frozen yoghurt with four different and exciting toppings! I remember my ex-husband frowning in disapproval at the idea of chocolate yoghurt and toppings too. Why would one have the healthy option of frozen yoghurt and then defame it with sugary toppings was his mentality.
I didn’t even know you could get four toppings, I had never explored other options even though the colourful toppings have always been there in their gleaming silver containers. Yes, my dear reader, I had chocolate hazelnut frozen yoghurt with white chocolate sprinkles, chocolate flakes, coconut shavings and cookie dough crumble. And boy was it delicious! I sat there alone, savoring every mouthful that exploded in my mouth.
So what do toppings have to do with life you may be asking? Well my answer is… everything. We can choose our very own toppings. We don’t have to go with the flow and be so passive. We do have options. We have a choice about how we react and respond to things. We can make our own mark on the world by being who we really are and knowing our true selves. Not the self which has been moulded by our past wounds and relationships but the authentic essence that lies beneath.
I have recognised how much I just go with the flow in my daily life and how I often wait for things to happen, wait for people to say the right thing and do the right thing. What if I took the initiative to start conversations or organise events, and set the mood and tone of a particular setting. What if I were to influence instead of being influenced. I also often allow the moods of others to affect the way I feel, so what if I stopped doing that and dictated my own moods.
I guess it all comes down to self-belief. The deeper we believe in, love, and know ourselves, the easier I imagine it will become to lead and initiate and stand out! The more we are able to have healthy boundaries between ourselves and others, the more liberated we will be.
So go on, choose your own toppings! Your voice is important and you are more precious than you give yourself credit for!