I am feeling quite overwhelmed today with all that I have to do. Selling furniture, organising shipping, working out time frames for all the clearances that need to be done, still working full-time and looking after my son!
Wow it’s a lot to deal with and today the weight of it all has really hit me. I bought a pack of cigarettes and have been smoking two a day so far. I never smoke a lot and then I give it up again until the next time. It’s not good for my health of course but right now I am not judging myself and just trying to get this major feat done without collapsing!
It’s going to be ok, I just feel like I need to look out for myself for a change. I am usually hyper-vigilant over my effect on others and I spend all my time worrying about how and when I may have hurt or offended others but really I need to focus on looking after myself. I am relocating after being abroad for so many years and I am doing it all alone. The people who matter will understand if I am preoccupied or self-absorbed.
I am hoping to leave in the next three weeks and then there will be a great deal of work on that side too, getting my son settled into his new school, finding a job etc etc. But it will all get done and I will get through it all. I have all the resources within, all the strength and insight and courage to do this. I believe in me.