Wanted to give you all an update. My first day at my new job. I was terrified and anxious and worried and I imagined a thousand things that could go wrong. I was supposed to start on Tuesday but my son fell ill and I missed my first two days of work.
Everything went smoothly. My son woke up in good spirits, I dropped him off at his Easter holiday camp early. The staff welcomed him warmly. As soon as I had dropped him off, I ran….literally all the way to the school to make it on time and I was 10 minutes early.
I hadn’t prepared anything for the first lesson and the assistant director of studies handed me a pile of books and notes from the cover teachers. I went down to the teachers room and was greeted warmly by the other teachers. I got a good feeling from the room. I prepared my lesson in between my introductions.
My first class was a multi-cultural class of adults from all over the world and I really liked them. They were receptive and I engaged them well. There was laughter and warmth in the room. My second class were advanced learners who I had to challenge more and the discussions were so interesting.
At lunchtime, we were treated to a free hot meal in the staffroom and I felt included and comfortable . I have changed, I am more comfortable in my skin, I am chattier with people I have just met. I am less self-conscious. In the last job I had in London, I was so uncomfortable and awkward with the other staff, hiding behind myself and so insular. Today I went in, my hair curly, wavy and natural, my smile broad and my heart open. I can do this, it’s what I have done for so many years and I am good at it, that’s why I’ve been hired. I walked into my fear and faced it in all its depth.Thank you God, thank you universe for blessing me today!
Hope lives behind the fear.