In the presence of an empowered woman.


My counsellor today said something that made me smile deeply. She said that she felt she was in the presence of a very empowered woman. She said that when I talked that she felt the strength in my words and a sense of inner acceptance.

I feel it too; the beginnings of acceptance of what was and burgeoning self-worth. Yes I do deserve kindness and warmth and effort and love. I am starting to ask for help when I need it. I asked my aunt and another mum to babysit my child. I am looking into family mediation to help me in dealing with my ex. Although, since I have mentioned mediation, he is being more co-operative, I don’t trust him at all as I do believe he will turn nasty again when he is angry or jealous. He plays the victim or aggressor with religious regularity and I don’t want to wait for his next tantrum. Mediation is going to cost an arm and a leg but it will be worth every penny.

I asserted myself this week by sending an email to my uncle. A man I believe and know to be just. I told him why I don’t speak to my parents and it was cathartic to write that email. I received a warm reply but I am so physically and emotionally independent of him that whatever happens happens. My self-worth is still intact.

I asserted myself at work by accepting an offer from another school who are willing to give me more than a zero hours contract (not quite full time but better than currently).  My resilience builds and builds.

And since I am on such a role. I asked a man I have strong feelings for to tell me exactly what he feels  now and whether there was a future for us or not. I think I know the answer already because I have been going on about this one over and over.  I gave voice to my feelings, doubts and thoughts because they are important. If they are not received well it’s not my issue but his. I deserve to have a say whether or not people are receptive to it.

I am looking after myself like you are supposed to, the way you should learn to at a young age in a home filled with unconditional love and regard. What happened hasn’t broken me, rather it has made me.


10 thoughts on “In the presence of an empowered woman.

  1. This post made me smile and feel so proud of you in a (I hope you know ) totally non patronising way 🙂 many of your posts have inspired me. You totally have this x

    Liked by 1 person

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