Merry Christmas to you all. My Christmas present came in the form of a message from my uncle. Over a month ago, I wrote an email to him as he had asked why I was not in contact with my parents. I sent him a long and honest email telling him that I was sexually abused by my father.
Well he replied finally saying it had taken him a long time to digest the information and that before he confronted my parents he wanted to go through everything step by step with me i.e. everything I had discussed with the psychologist.
When I read it I thought well just FUCK OFF already! Is my truth not palatable, not systematic enough for you. Now you want me to discuss all the details of my counselling?
I replied saying that it was too much to ask and that it had already been so difficult for me to write the first email and that I had given a very honest and coherent explanation.
Well this was his response…in his own words. I have put it in bold and italics for your reading pleasure
“I respect your decision but can’t discuss it with your folks as there are certain points that your email does not cover and needs clarification as you are the accuser. I would like to put a couple of points forward:
You were 5 or 6 at the time and the details are not clear to you as you say or suppressed, are you 100% sure it was your father and no one else? Did you come to the conclusion before or after your consultation with the psychologist.
Your present problems are a consequence of what happened to you….or your present situation is a solution for your past. Psychologists prefer the former etc
Please note I am not doubting you its my thought process. You are not obliged to reply as I see from your email and your message its a take it or leave it approach.
Well there you have it reader! My truth is not enough for him to do anything about because it happened so long ago and the details are hazy. It so much easier for the family to turn on the victim. Don’t you love it the way I am now ‘the accuser’. They don’t see the hurt and pain of the 5year old girl only how much the truth will inconvenience the status quo. If there was anyone I would have thought would have my back it was this uncle. But the reality is that it is only me (always was) who is here for myself and has my back. I am deeply saddened and hurt, it’s triggered a lot of the original pain.
It seems that victims of sexual abuse are failed over and over again by their families. Fuck off to them all from me today. Merry Christmas.