Why being assertive is so hard for the sexually abused

It’s hard to say ‘No’, in fact I can say ‘No’ but only a weak ‘No’ with a smile and a noticeable smallness that colours the tone of my voice. In my session today, we talked about accessing that deep centre and using that power to say a meaningful ‘NO’. Such an important skill, to…

It’s ok to feel good

I used to feel that when good things happened to me, it was by some universal accident and that the happiness would be snatched away just as quickly. All because I didn’t deserve it and was somehow unworthy of it. It is only now that I am challenging this self-belief and many other inner harsh…

Integrating the anger

I had another interesting session today. I went in feeling very angry today; lots of anger bubbling under the surface with no place to go. It’s been a busy week and frustrating one too! I am angry with my ex for his lack of support, I am angry with a man I fancied for telling…

The power of rage

In my counselling session today we addressed that very real unmet need within me to be taken care of. As with other survivors of abuse and neglect, I was never really taken care of properly. And this has left an ache and a hole, a desperation to get affection and ‘love’ in whatever shape or…