I woke up this morning to a world blanketed in snow. The cars and pathways looked like a baker in the sky had sprinkled icing sugar on everything, even the rubbish bins looked beautiful. The layer of snow muffled the everyday noises. Weather likes this makes me turn inward. I found so much there today.…
Someone sent a video to me this week about a violinist Itzhak Perlman, a world famous musician who suffered from polio as a child and as a result has been in a wheelchair all his life. During one of his concerts, one of the strings on his violin snapped. Instead of limping off stage in…
I had another interesting session today. I went in feeling very angry today; lots of anger bubbling under the surface with no place to go. It’s been a busy week and frustrating one too! I am angry with my ex for his lack of support, I am angry with a man I fancied for telling…
How does one even begin to deal with an ex-husband who uses his child to garner sympathy for himself? Who will stop at nothing to be divisive and try to slowly and secretly corrode the relationship you have with your child. My son has come back from two sleepovers by his dad with things that…
My counselling session yesterday was like no other I have had before. I expressed the anger that I felt towards my counsellor. In our previous session, we did some work to express my anger towards my father and I visualised kicking him in the chest. This brought up an avalanche of feelings in the week…
In my counselling session today we addressed that very real unmet need within me to be taken care of. As with other survivors of abuse and neglect, I was never really taken care of properly. And this has left an ache and a hole, a desperation to get affection and ‘love’ in whatever shape or…
It’s ok to stumble and fall in the same places. It’s ok to get lost. It’s ok to not want to feel alone and it’s ok to need to be loved and wanted. In short, it’s ok to be human. To cry one moment and laugh the next. To be overwhelmed and underwhelmed and to…
After posting yesterday about my ex-husband’s continued antics and tantrums, I received your messages of support and have been reminded of who I am. The woman who stood up to an abusive man and divorced him, the woman who confronted her abusive parents and cut them out of her life for their refusal to acknowledge…
I haven’t been posting regularly because I still don’t have a wireless connection at home but will hopefully have one by this evening. Wanted to update you and say that I do miss being on here. I miss your voices of warmth and comfort. I need those voices today more than ever. It’s been a…
“Please talk to me I miss you,” is the desperate text I received from my mother yesterday. I haven’t spoken to either of my parents in almost two years. I have confronted my mother about the abuse and she says that it couldn’t have happened. She says that she doesn’t remember any of it. My…
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