Why being assertive is so hard for the sexually abused

It’s hard to say ‘No’, in fact I can say ‘No’ but only a weak ‘No’ with a smile and a noticeable smallness that colours the tone of my voice. In my session today, we talked about accessing that deep centre and using that power to say a meaningful ‘NO’. Such an important skill, to…

Run Tellingheavysecrets Run!

I feel so invigorated and alive. Running does that for me. It’s really warm today and after dropping my son off at school I took a run in the local park. I had my earphones plugged into my ear and I did six laps. That doesn’t amount to more than about 3km as its a…

An Idiot’s Guide to the profound effects of Sexual Abuse

We have Idiot guides and manuals to almost everything nowadays; for example, An Idiot’s Guide to Plumbing, An Idiot’s Guide to Microsoft Office and an Idiot’s Guide to Parenting. I have been thinking that we should have an Idiot’s Guide to the Profound and Irreversible Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Of course it’s not the…

Leaning towards the light

My son came home with this beautiful sunflower the day school broke out for half term. The flower came with a beautiful poem dedicated to me. We call our sunflower ‘sugarcakes’ and she sits gracefully by our kitchen window. She was hidden below the rich dark soil for two days and we watered her lovingly…